Still Here

Thanks for all the hugs and condolences. Thankfully the doctor said everything is “fine” and there’s no reason we have to wait to try again. So, better luck next time I guess! I’m trying really hard to be upbeat but sometimes it’s hard, like lunch today when I saw two pregnant women. Ugh. It’s just harder some days than others.

I don’t have any pictures to share today, but I have been working on Japanese Garden pretty steadily. Well, until this past weekend when I finally broke down and got my own lotro account…I’ve been playing pretty much whenever I have free time since Saturday…I wasn’t going to do it, but I’m hooked. At least I have a long car ride to look forward to Thursday so I should get some stitching done then anyway. We’re going skiing at Mammoth, although it hasn’t snowed recently. There’s a slight chance now, so here’s hoping. That’s about it here; thanks again for the support. I really, really appreciate it.

New Year

Well, it’s a new year. Whether it turns out to be a happy one or not, well, I’m reserving judgment. I think most people who might happen upon this have already been told. Maybe not. I found out the week of Christmas that I was pregnant, only to miscarry last week at just over 5 weeks. Friends who have followed my blog for awhile know how badly I want to have another child. Now I’m in a happy marriage with a husband who wants to have kids, and this is how that endeavor begins. To say I’m disappointed is, of course, quite the understatement. One of the worst parts is that I am terrified about the next time. When I was pregnant with Luke my life was in a bad place, and it wasn’t an experience I got to enjoy so having it be a good thing that I could enjoy was something I was really excited about this time. Now I’m afraid that if I get pregnant again I’ll spend the whole time afraid of what might go wrong. Life really sucks sometimes, you know?

I took last Friday off work and pretty much wallowed for three days while Luke was at his dad’s. On the upside, I have plenty of stitching progress to show off once I take some photos.

One a separate note, yesterday was Luke’s 8th birthday. I’ll have pictures to share from that too. At some point soon here I need to make arrangements for his birthday party. I always throw it a little late so it’s more removed from Christmas. The particulars (like date, location, etc) remain to be set. I’m just not in a celebratory mood, but I imagine I’ll suck it up and figure it out shortly.

So far 2009 is not off to the best start. 2008 started very well and ended very badly…here’s hoping for a reversal in 2009.